Low confidence and low self esteem is something that many people battle with throughout their lives. Events and significant relationships with parents, siblings, teachers and friends from childhood can still impact you as an adult. However, you are possibly unaware that the connection from your past is still affecting your responses and choices today. Low confidence can also develop within adulthood, usually from a significant event in your life. The arrival of a new baby, loss of your job, illness or an unhappy relationship can have a deep impact on how you relate to yourself and the world around you. It can stop you grabbing opportunities, stagnate your experiences and keep you stuck in areas of your life that you know deep down aren’t serving you well.
So what can be done about low confidence? Do you have to accept your fate and resign to knowing that living an exciting and fulfilling life is for other people? Is your level of confidence unchangeable and out of your control? Absolutely and definitely not!!
4 ways to improve your confidence
There are many different things you can do to help yourself. And once you have made the choice to improve your confidence level, you’ll be amazed at the way your life can transform. The following four suggestions can really make the difference.
- Acknowledge to yourself that it is low confidence/self esteem you are experiencing. This might sound fatuous, but it so important. If you have suffered low confidence you’ll have had a very lively inner critic in your head telling you that you’re no good, not worthy and possibly you have questioned your right to have a happy life. Once you have accepted that it is your confidence levels creating these self doubts, it gets so much easier to work through and ignore that inner critic.
- Start taking small steps that begin you on the journey to what you want in your life. An example of this is you might want to get fitter. But whenever you try and go our running you find you can’t go as far as you think you should, or you might be self conscious about wearing lycra. It means you give up easily and your confidence gets another knock. So change your expectation. To run 5km non stop takes training and practice. So your first step could be to find a programme especially designed to get someone of your fitness level to run 5km. I really recommend the NHS Couch to 5km app but you might find another you prefer. Next step is start the programme. And you’re off! Two steps closer to achieving your goal. Know that it’s not about always knowing where you’re going to end up. But one thing is for definite, without those little steps you will never find out where you could be. Just keep on taking those steps. No matter how low your belief in yourself is, there is always something you can do to get your life moving. If you can’t believe in yourself, ride on the belief that others have for you.
- Get some help with unlocking why you’re lacking confidence. With the right help, it is astonishing how quickly you can leave that old behaviour in the past – where it belongs. Find yourself a great therapist/coach who is qualified to get you releasing the negative connectors.
- Know that the most successful people in life have self doubt and fear about new ventures and whether they can achieve their goals. They just don’t let the doubt stop them!
If you focus on these changes you will definitely start noticing some wonderful times and opportunities coming your way.
Giselle Monbiot is a Women’s Confidence Coach working one to one and running workshops to enable positive transformation for her clients. As a therapist for many years, she has learnt that good confidence is the foundation to a happy, healthy and fulfilled life. Giselle leads a busy and enjoyable life raising her three children and dedicating herself to helping people increase their confidence and self esteem. To read more about Giselle click here
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